


Insecurities

by Midmorning



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Caretaking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Severus Snape, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hair, Hair Brushing, Hair Washing, Insecurity, Love, M/M, OC, Other, Snape/anyone, Sneville, badattagging, helpme, self-hate, snamione, snarry, snucius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:08:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midmorning/pseuds/Midmorning
Summary: Severus is insecure about his hair.Care, a bit of angst, and fluffYou are allowed to imagine whoever you want with him, other book characters, an OC or yourself.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy/Severus Snape, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Severus Snape/Original Character(s), Severus Snape/Other(s), Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 14
Kudos: 85





	1. Hair Washing

The man was sitting in his favorite, black armchair a book resting gently in his lap. His face was calm and looked gentler than its usual scowl. I loved seeing him like this relaxed and almost soft, he had had a hard time during the war and had never got anything back from it.

"Luv, I was wondering if you'd let me wash your hair?" I inwardly sighed knowing how prickly he was about this sort of thing.

"Why," He said head snapping up and eyes narrowing. He turned to face me and then pointedly avoided my gaze. When the man had finally let me passed his walls I had been introduced to a new person, a broken person. He was filled with insecurities and tended to lash out even more than before, I could already see him working himself up into a mood.

"Do you find me disgusting..." He snarled, I blinked taken aback. Oh. Baby...

"Of course not, I love you just the way you are and have no desire to change you, but sometimes it can feel good to have someone care for you." I fiddled nervously with my fingers hoping that he wouldn't notice my anxiousness, last time I had brought up something similar he had reacted very poorly.

"I-I'm not sure that I will... you won't..." Severus met my gaze, his mood simmering down, and tried to explain himself.

"It's alright, Sever, I'll run a bath upstairs and if you'd like to come up you can but if not that is fine as well. I just want you happy."

I entered the room and started the bath, setting a few fluffy towels and a hairbrush on the counter. We had never talked about his lack of hygiene, but I knew that despite his seemly lack of caring he was very ashamed of how he appeared. I had seen it the first time we had been intimate the way had he had insisted that we turned off the lights or at least dim them. How he refuses to change near me and always wears thick layers of clothes. The first time I had praised him he had lashed out and spent the rest of the week in his lab. I knew that he had a very hard childhood even if he rarely talks about it, this childhood may have lead to his lack of full cleanness. He had never had anyone there for him, to teach him, and to give him what he needed.

"I will do it." Severus' cheeks were stained a faint pink and his eyes were squeezed shut.

"Alright, I will wait outside until you get ready, I added some bubbles but feel free to add more," He wrinkled his nose at that.

I waited for a bit until I heard his low voice calling me, "I'm going to shampoo your hair first and then wash it out, is that alright?" A quick nod was thrown my way. I sat behind him and gently started my work on his hair, at first touch he had tensed up and I had softly peppered his head with kisses. I messaged his scalp and then moved to his raven black tresses. I hummed while lathering and he relaxed. Grabbing the bucket of freshwater I slowly poured it over him until the soap was sufficiently washed out.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Sever's voice had risen a pitch and he tugged out of my grip to curl into himself, I then noticed the excessively dirty bathwater and tainted water dribbles that had hit the bathroom floor.

"Shush...shush it is alright." I moved to pull him closer to me.

"It's dirty, disgusting, I'm filthy, I'm so disgusting!" Severus was wound up and his breathing was quickly picking up speed.

"Baby, it's going to be okay, everything is fine. There is nothing wrong with you this happens sometimes, it is completely normal. You work in a lab it is only right that sometimes the water changes colors or gets a bit dirty." He was curled into my arms now, head pressed into my neck. I could feel the soft warm beads of saltwater falling down my skin. He had never been this bad, was it possible that he had never had a bath before, hadn't had anyone holding him? I rubbed smooth patterns onto his back until I heard his breathing calm.

A quiet tight voice circled the room, "I'm sorry. I overreacted I shouldn't have done that, thank you for your assistance but it is now unnecessary." He was drawing back, putting the walls that had only just shattered back up. He lurched out of my arms and stood up on shaky legs.

"You don't have to apologize it's not your fault. Stay, I'll help you dry off and get ready for bed." Severus trembled and then reached out to me, it seemed that he was worn out, he had never given in that easily.

Quickly I dried him off and then held up the hairbrush, a tired head shake answered. I sat him down and ignored his nakedness, knowing that just this was a giant step of improvement. A grounding hand was placed on his back as I started brushing out his coal locks. I hummed and watched satisfied as his face took on an even gentler look than it had early and his mood turned to content.

"Your clothes are all wet," his eyes danced in amusement.

"I'd get wet for you any day," I returned with a soft laugh. Grabbing the man's hand, we both climbed into bed. "I love you so much."

"I feel the same, thank you," Severus said pressing his forehead to mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a hard time making Severus stay in character but I did what I could. I love the idea of someone caring for him like this and if anyone wants to make or knows of anything similar to this please let me know.
> 
> I may make a chapter two, but if anyone wants a certain prompt (in reason) I will just make this book a series of one-shots.
> 
> Prompt (Midmorning): Severus is insecure about his hair, doesn't wash it because of childhood neglect.


	2. The Talk

Bright beams of sunlight poured over the room as the man slept, his face a peaceful calm. He was bare and I wasn't, my now dry clothes hugging my skin. He was likely to wake and panic, thinking that the difference was some type of power play. 

"I am... you are." Severus pulled out of my embrace, eyes narrowing. Quickly he stood, harshly grabbing a bundle of clothes and storming into the bathroom. Sighing, I laid back onto the pillow, this was going to be a difficult day. 

The silence was peaceful but I wasn't fool enough to not hear the banging and low grumbles coming from the other room, he had been in there for a while. 

A sharp yelp followed by a sniffle was heard. "Severus, what are you doing!" The man stood hairbrush in hand looking at the large chunk of ripped out hair that was resting on the counter. Small red beads were falling from his scalp. 

"Luv, are you alright," I led the man to sit down.

"It wasn't going straight, it looks like a mess, I look like-" I held up a shushing finger to the man's lips. I had thought that he had gotten passed this yesterday, but it seemed not. I should have cuddled him more and held him close, even if he would've protested. Severus was sometimes difficult to be with, not with the fighting or his attitude, but in the way that he would never ask for what needed. 

"Can I help with your hair and patch you up?" He nodded, his eyes still a little watery. I started on his hair knotting out the coal strands before working on the roots. I grimaced as he let out a sharp hiss, he was already bitting his lip to hold back whimpers. 

Once his hair untwisted I carefully lifted a rag with alcohol, warning him of the sting before continuing. He squirmed as the cleaning started and I gently kissed his shoulder before moving him closer to me. Almost done... Carefully a bandage was placed over the wound.

"Why didn't you ask me for help?" Severus looked up, face paling as he tried to squeeze out of my grasp.

"Please, you wouldn't want to burden yourself with taking care of me, I am hardly a child." He was retreating again. 

I pinched my nose, "It is not a burden Severus, it makes me overjoyed to see you happy, and taking care of you is part of that!" If I did not tread carefully he would explode.

"If you need anything, brushing your hair, helping with baths, hell even dressing you in the morning. I. will. do. it. The only thing I want is to make you happy but if you don't tell me what you need how is this supposed to happen." 

"I am sorry I didn't know. I will try to be better, tell you what I need... I would like you to help me with all of those things if it is not too much to ask." The man was staring at the floor his cheek's a deep shade of pink. 

Bringing the man into my arms I held him close, "Of course, I'd love to do that, would you like another bath today?" He nodded. "I'll run the water in a bit but for now let's cuddle."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is short, I know. I read this thing online that to improve writing you have to write every day even if you do feel like it. I didn't feel like it... So expect so more random not thought through chapters every day. 
> 
> This chapter was just to get them to have a conversation about Severus' needs, it needed to be addressed. Tomorrow will be the dressing chapter.
> 
> Please steal my writing prompt and use it to make stories, just tag me cause I wanna read em.
> 
> Prompt (Midmorning): Severus is insecure about his hair, doesn't wash it because of childhood neglect.


	3. Dressing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And no this chapter does not go on salad...

It was morning yet again and Severus and I had both just woken. The two of us had been intertwined which was unusual, but I took it as a sign of improvement when the man didn't mention it. Now we were trying to pick out his clothes. 

"No, that's not good enough." We had been at this for an hour now and I could tell the man was stressing over it. Today we were having dinner with my parents and even if I had insisted that they wouldn't mind how he looked he was losing his mind. 

"Sever how about you wear these," I held up some black jeans and turtlenecked shirt. The man glared at me before snatching them harshly and stomping to the bathroom, muttering something under his breath. Severus had been in a mood since waking up and I had a good idea why.

"Luv, do you want me to help you dress?" He blinked at me, he got like this a lot, he would believe that I would only agree to something to mock him about it later. 

"I would like that... thank you," It seemed he was honoring his promise to tell me what he needed, a few months ago he would have just slammed the door in my face.

Bringing him to sit on the bed I gently took off his shirt making sure to work around his injury and contained. He let out a sharp hiss when everything was gone, this was the first time I had truly seen his body except for the other day and I had ignored it then. The man was thin just on the borderline of too much. His arms were lightly sculpted, likely from carrying potion caldrons and certain ingredients. Scars lined his back, the aftermath of war telling a story. He was beautiful. 

Softly I moved my lips to press against his arm moving slowly, watching him as he stared amazed at me a choked sound spilling from his lips. I traced upward sucking gently on his collarbone, carefully leaving faint marks. He was trembling, shivering, his eyes displaying a warmness I had never seen before. I drop my lips to his chest and traced around his heart. A small gasp was heard. I then put on his shirt throwing him a smile.

Moving downward I grabbed his hands in mine drawing little hearts on his palms as I continued. Kissing his hips, thighs, knees, and then turning to look up at him. His eyes were watery but a smile was playing on his face. Helping him put on the rest of his clothes I traced more letters on his palm spilling praises for him out of my mouth. 

I grabbed a brush sat him in my lap brushing out his black locks, absorbing the peaceful look that had taken on his face. This was more than I had ever hoped for...

The man and I had gone so far in the last few days and he was healing and in a way, he was healing me as well. I was falling deeply in love with him more than I thought was even possible and I could tell now that he felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is most likely the last chapter in this book, I have run out of ideas that would fit into the story. But, not to fear I will write more caring for Severus books because that is the only thing I can write. 
> 
> I will most likely come back in a few months and rewrite/add on to this when my ideas feel fresher.


End file.
